Another big-city police department is handing out safety tips like a panicked HR department during a fire drill. Only this time, it’s Chicago, where crime has turned into something like a sadistic scavenger hunt for criminals—except the prizes are your gold chain, your wallet, and maybe your life.
According to the latest crime memo out of the Windy City, eight violent robberies took place in areas like Grant Park, New Eastside, and the Loop just last month alone. All in broad daylight or twilight hours, all on public park property, and all following the same pattern: lone individuals getting physically assaulted for their jewelry, specifically gold chains.
The robbers? Coordinated and aggressive. The victims? Unarmed and unprepared. And the Chicago Police Department’s advice in response? Walk in pairs, stay in well-lit areas, and if you do get robbed, stay calm, memorize every wrinkle on your attacker’s face, and gather contact info from bystanders like you’re hosting a block party.
Seriously?
Enter Carl DeFazio, a guy who’s actually seen how crime plays out in the real world. He’s a former NYPD officer, U.S. Marine, and now a private security expert who responded to this so-called “guidance” with the kind of disgust that probably made his blood pressure spike. And can you blame him?
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the absurdity here: You’re mugged at gunpoint in a city plagued with violent crime, and the official word from the people tasked with public safety is to basically become a crime scene investigator during the crime. Don’t worry about your life; just scan the guy’s neck for tattoos, make a mental note of his build, maybe ask what gang he’s affiliated with for good measure, and then after he runs off, casually ask the two terrified teenagers on the next bench for their email addresses in case the detectives want to follow up.
It would be hilarious if it weren’t so infuriating.
The Mayor of Chicago is now claiming the Slaves Built Chicago.
He is encouraging the people of Chicago to stand up to Trump and the Troops.
He wants them to protect the city because it was built by Slaves
This is the Dumbest Mayor in American History
So many young &… pic.twitter.com/Vey5CUXtgW
— Terrence K. Williams (@w_terrence) September 9, 2025
DeFazio nailed it when he called this “embarrassing.” Because it is. It’s a poster child example of how backward urban policing has become in the post-defund, hyper-litigious era. The police aren’t preventing crime anymore—they’re managing it, like bureaucrats with clipboards instead of badges. You’d almost think the goal was to keep the crime stats manageable, not the streets safe.
This isn’t policing—it’s PR damage control dressed up as community outreach.
And let’s be real: the real message behind Chicago PD’s tips isn’t about public safety. It’s about liability control. If something goes wrong and someone gets hurt (again), the department gets to say, “Well, we did tell people to stay calm and look for identifying features.” Right. That’s like telling someone in a house fire to take a photo of the flames before exiting.
What DeFazio suggested instead is exactly what cities like Chicago should be doing: proactive deterrence. Community patrols. Eyes on the streets. And yes—policies like stop-and-frisk that allow police to address threats before they become victims. But we all know how that went down in today’s political climate. Heaven forbid we hurt a criminal’s feelings while they’re prepping to rob someone at gunpoint.
And this is the consequence of that woke-on-crime, hands-off approach that’s taken over Democrat-run cities: rising violence, overworked cops afraid to act, and residents being fed “tips” that read like satire from The Onion.
🚨 OMG…President Trump just put a reporter in her place.
REPORTER: Are you ready to go to war with Chicago?
TRUMP: When you say that, darling, that’s fake news. Listen. Be QUIET. Listen. You don’t listen, you never listen. That’s why you’re second rate. We’re not going to… pic.twitter.com/miqrJaUQZQ
— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) September 7, 2025
DeFazio said it best: when you’re looking down the barrel of a .357, you’re not trying to make eye contact to identify your mugger—you’re trying not to die. That’s the only tip that matters. And maybe, just maybe, it’s time for Chicago to stop worrying about looking politically correct and start worrying about actually keeping its people alive.
